She is very emotionally connected and just wants him to be well, and no longer be depressed. and what does he in his case with : you deserve better etc.xx Miyumi, View related questions: Because a good and loyal man knows that feelings always diminish, but trust, respect, honor define love in action. even if it isnt me or my presence right now. This estimate cuts across all ages, meaning you likely know someone battling this mental illness if you arent yourself. Being around him is never fun. STAR259. You might be misrepresenting what therapy is to him since the support you offer him is completely different. 2. Perhaps you cover up your partner's drinking or lie about how well they treat others. Its a polite way of saying that youre on a different level than , Hes simply done with the relationship. He either cant change who he is or he just doesnt want to change who he is. He may just not see you in his future. But he lacks the confidence to say so. If youve noticed other attention-seeking behavior or that your boyfriend seems to need constant validation, this could be the culprit. Maybe you're ashamed to admit how often you. His life will bring more stress into yours, 14. You dont ever have to worry about our relationship., depressed boyfriend says i deserve better. It's okay to feel frustrated or angry. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. Telling him the particular thing you love each time you say something good about him makes it feel all the more genuine. 3. Statements like this could help alleviate that. You can also ask if he wants to talk about it then listen attentively when he does. He is not willing to be completely truthful. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. That is something that counseling alone or counseling combined with medication could most likely resolve. I always wanted you to be better toward me and to treat me the way I deserve . Hell feel bad a lot of the time because conversations will mostly revolve around him and his health. When this is over, well have a hell of a story to tell., 72. Being in a relationship while battling depression takes a whole lot of effort. A compliment shifts the focus away from his depression and makes him feel good about himselftwo very necessary things. That being said, some people just don't have drive. You can ask. Youll get information about his calls, SMS, social media and other online communications. He was there for you emotionally. 1. I always found my relationships and game with women as something very mediocre and unsuccessful. Or bother trying. You could also send him a song, a voice note of you singing, or a video of you goofing around. Set short-term goals and make sure you stand by your boyfriend and help him out in small ways to achieve the goals. He thinks hes crap for one reason or another. Sometimes we can love so blindly that we can love the person that is being cruel to us. In reality, this could be due to various things. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Its nice to know that even in hopelessness, you bring light to your partners life. And it was as if he gave away all his savings just for you. When he says you deserve better, it means that he is low in self-esteem and is not willing to do the work in order to make the relationship work. You cant force him to get therapy and even if he went for you it probably wouldn't work. A man will usually say this for the reason that he got what he wanted from you in the relationship. You need to be a woman that motivates a guy to take action, by either being better for you or leaving you, so hell stop wasting your time. Driven men that end up in relationships that require a lot of time and effort, often end up getting burnt out by them. ( He wanted to commit suicide ). Im not going anywhere. Let him know youre in it together, but only if you mean it. These four words have gotten me through some of the darkest times in my life. Depression is a recurrent illness which is likely to resurface later. . My life is so much better with you in it., 59. You are my man, and I love you so much., 74. Likely he never will. It means so much to me when you smile like that., 13. 25. having suicides thought every night and every morning (also says that he won't do it, because he knows that will kill his parents) he says that nothing can help him, he have tried several medication, several doctor and nothing works, he told me that Im a wonderful person and I deserve better, that he . The greatest pleasure for a man is sex. I know I say this a lot, but its not just talk, I am really here for you., 85. Dont worry about me., 5. Then for him to tell you, You deserve better is a more subtle and more gentle way of telling you that you should break up. I think you need to understand he won't change unless he wants to. Remember, the sweetest things you can say to a depressed partner are words that make him feel better about himself, not worse. When he says that you deserve better, he might actually mean that you deserve better than what hes got on his mind. He sounds nearly on the verge of finding a bridge. His Non-commitment and his decisions to either stay with you or not can be one of the most toxic things. What do you think she should do? But it's amazing how often we jump through psychological hoops of self-justification to . He might try to say how great you are but turn the conversation around to him. If he says that, it means that he has no intention of putting in the work on himself. Also he told me he stole money from his mom and he felt bad about it ( due to a gaming addiction ).I told him to confess it to her and eventually he did ( he felt a lot better afterwards he said ).So now a few months later he suddenly started saying I deserve better, and that he is not special etc. Express your support using his primary love language, be it physical touch, affirming words, or others. Many men who experience their first relationships, get this derived sense that they can sleep with any woman. Some men can be really insane. This may apply to various needs. Pinterest. Part of being there for him is giving him a blank cheque and preparing to offer it as long as its within your capacity. Its a secret background check and tracker tool. But, unfortunately, due to the circumstances in your lives, its making things difficult for both of you to continue the relationship. I know I do., 34. If youre not sure whether this is what he means, consider asking him. I want to be your shoulder to lean and cry on in person, but distance wont let me, and for that, Im sorry., 78. But dont worry, Ive got you covered on what he means and what to do about it. However, that doesnt mean that hes willing to put in the work to do that. Sometimes, a guy isnt going to give you what you deserve. The tips in this guide will help you to attract your crush, transform a casual fling into a serious relationship or fix a relationship thats turning stale. It's his way of trying to tell you that he thinks very highly of you. It doesnt matter the distance or whats going on in his life. It doesnt hurt if that person is your partner. This would be nice on days when he has to cancel again, and he feels bad. Dont forget that., 57. He says things like I deserve better, that someone else will come along and I'll forget all . Required fields are marked *. He says that he doesn't want to do anything with his life. We have faced many problems (I lost my job, he's about to loose his job, etc), and I was always willing to work on our problems as a team. Maybe he found someone else. He was working two jobs and with the state of the economy now, the business is not making money. A 2. Instead, provide understanding, support and encouragement. Is your boyfriend feeling down in the dumps? He doesnt think the two of you have a future, 6. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. In this article, you learned 8 reasons why he might say you deserve better although it can get confusing on what he actually means by it. Also, he likely cheated on you. Its a common topic when a relationship comes to an end. As an expert in male psychology, Ive learned to understand where men are coming from when they say this, and I have listed the most common reasons below. He knows youre a smart cookie and he feels lucky to have you in his life. He says you can do better because I bet he honestly believes that. Typically, people that say this have healthy self-esteem. The World Health Organization estimates that over264 million peoplesuffer from depression globally. Lets see what the reasons are when he says you deserve better. anita. He's not ready to put in the time or effort 7. Home / / depressed boyfriend says i deserve better. At 22 I hardly think you are a psychologist. He might not even treat you right. We make excuses for the person who is not showing up. Te . Not because of any red flags in the relationship. It all depends on your partners personality. We may not be perfect, but at least we have each other., 77. Many people prefer to go with the former, especially when the cause is still fresh, while others want nothing more than to share their pain with someone. He doesnt think that he can give you the relationship or life that youre accustomed to. I cherish every single moment I spend with you., 58. So when they say you deserve better, clearly understand that they are saying I know I can not give you what you want, I once read a quote online which made me realize how unstable and unpredictable some people can be, and why you shouldnt invest all you have in them before being sure of their character. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. A woman attempting to persuade a guy that he is good enough wont inspire this man to be better. This is one of the most puzzling things to figure out. What hes trying to say is that he thinks the relationship will ultimately be a disaster if the two of you try to make it work. I was always there for him - supported him when he was going through a rough time being unemployed, helped him to find a new job, spent hours and hours talking about his feelings, his issues. Meds helped me immensely. Though quit because he felt guilty and it wasn't the right thing to do. While you might want to convince him that this relationship is right for you, in reality, its not a good idea. HeyAlysia, But that doesn't necessarily mean he wants to date you or Hello, I am Shahriar Minaee, and I am a relationship and self-development Enthusiast. Sorry. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Caring and showing empathy, even without the full understanding of his situation, is an act of love. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. I've got a boyfriend for about 6 months now and he used to be quite depressed about 3 months ago. These men get off on girls that beg for them. This. When you cant put your feelings into words, just hold my hands, and Ill understand., 83. When someone tells you they are too messed up, they are warning you. How to End a Situationship with Closure and Respect, What to Do When a Man Abruptly Ends a Relationship, 8 Positive Signs During Separation and Steps to Reconcile, Hes Trying To Say This When He Says You Deserve Better, 3. Today he cursed at me because something didn't work out with his getting a new car. When the relationship is total crap, he can revert back to this saying again. Or play it when you two are together, anyhow you know hed get the message. Be Careful About Breaking Up When You're Depressed | by Karen Nimmo | On The Couch | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. During Unrequited Love, there are occasions when a person develops strong feelings for someone, only to discover that they are not reciprocated. Sometimes what we get in relationships is the love story paradox. Then theres the workaholic that simply knows he cant give you the time of day. What would you do in this situation? When he's caught in a depressive episode, your boyfriend may be feeling uniquely alienated, isolated, or hopeless. In most states you need at least a masters to do counseling. When people are equally attracted and crave physical closeness, they want to connect on a physical level. Instead, hed rather you walk away. If you're looking for some information that's important to you (such as research for work or learning how to manage your money), then the advice here is to first write down the relevant keywords on a piece of paper to figure out exactly what you want, which will be a lot more efficient. If you're depressed by my first tip on what to do when your boyfriend makes no effort in your relationship (accept him for who he is right now), I've got good news for you! If your boyfriend is in any one of these situations. Im in the mood to make your belly happy today, what would you like to eat?, 75. Early on in the relationship, it's important to set boundaries and enforce them. I know its going to hurt but you cant let men like him push you around with their words. This is especially important if you are still in the beginning stages of dating and you dont know him as well. Your boyfriend thinks it's what you want to hear When he says you deserve better, he actually means it as a compliment. This is another reason you should listen to what hes saying and just walk away. I have no friends anymore (especially guys) because he doesn't like me hanging out with them. Give your partner the space he needs. Remind him that he doesnt have to vanquish his giants at once by encouraging him to progress one step at a time. male So he decides on just giving up and breaking off the relationship. When a man really wants women he will adapt to any situation and make everything work out. He may not count it as much, but if loving him did something for you, tell him. For example, maybe his kids are heathens and theyre going to break all of your nice stuff. It is just that he knows he cannot give you what you are looking for. Its okay not to know what to do at times. He doesnt like you as much. This is the same as when a boy says you deserve better. Dont hesitate to ask me for anything., 35. Its a one-sided encounter that might leave us feeling hurt, angry, or ashamed. 6 You Don't Trust Him. He knows the difference between a girl he just wants to have fun with and a girl he sees a real future with, and you just so happen to be the latter. Although talking about his feelings is important, there will be times . By just saying the right things to your partner, you could lighten up his day and help him out of a grey feeling. If youre looking to do more than just the latter and be a reliable support system to your partner in need, this article is for you. Hearing this from someone you love could make a whole world of difference to a depressed person. She thinks her leaving him will only worsen his depression, yet she doesn't see herself as trapped in staying. "I'm here for you." One of the sweetest things you can do for a depressed partner is to reassure them of your commitment. If you stay, youre not going to get that. He has been going through a lot of changes in his life, and he's been distant and angry lately. Words fail to express how much you mean to me, but this is me using them anyway., 66. Maybe he knows that hes going to be abusive or cheat. Unrequited love is defined as a love that is not reciprocated. When he says that you deserve better, he might actually , Hes pretty sure that hes going to hurt you. When they first met, he was not depressed. They have been a couple for 4+ years. Are you wondering why on earth he would say something like that when you thought he was interested in creating a bright future with you? In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Youre perfect for me., 67. He got very depressed and developed low self-esteem. They can own up to it. He has some issues. A minority of men can see past their lies and the toxic traits they bring to the relationship. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. You have a choice: live with him being depressed or leave and grieve the relationship. Sex with women and love from one beautiful woman for the rest of his life. He got you all kinds of nice gifts. 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